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Looking back, I can see that my own ‘curve-ball’ moment of 2010 was a real journey of awakening.  One thing I discovered, was that working with feelings is a skill and not something we’re born with!  The truth is, most of us were taught the complete opposite, so it’s really not surprising we become ‘stuck’ or overwhelmed by feelings, or just repress and avoid them!  

What’s more, I realised we actually become conditioned to a feeling!  Yes, if we spend enough time in a feeling, our body becomes ‘addicted’ to it: it’s what I now call our ‘familiar feeling’. 

As the subconscious mind is ‘literal’, the more time we spend in this ‘familiar feeling’, the more our subconscious believes ‘this is the feeling you want’.  It then creates an experience designed to keep us in the feeling!   That’s how the law of attraction works and it’s the reason why anger attracts anger, love attracts love and abundance attracts abundance!  Yes, it’s because life is a mirror of how we feel!

Our feelings are a chemical reaction in our body, they are energy and create my experience.  For years I believed my own happiness was dependent on external factors – money, success, relationships etc., but I’ve since discovered it’s an inside job: to change my experience, I must first change my feelings!  The better I feel, the better my life becomes!  

Learning to connect with our feelings and transform them, is an important piece of work I do with my clients.  Once we master, process and release them, it just changes our life.  So here are some useful ideas that I hope will inspire you to begin changing the familiar feeling!

DOPAMINE (The Reward Chemical)
Eating healthy nutritious food
Achieving a desired goal or objective
Making a list and completing some tasks
Self-care activities – spa/sauna/massage

OXYTOCIN (The Love Hormone)
Socialising & connection (not social media!)
Physical touch, contact, a hug!
Being with animals – love!
Helping others, volunteering, doing good

ENDORPHINES (The Painkiller)
Physical exercising – walking, running
Learning to sing & dance
Watch a movie
Laughter, having fun and lightness

SEROTONIN (The Mood Stabiliser)
Sun exposure (getting away from the greyness!)
Being with nature, walking in a meadow or on the hills
Mindfulness, learning to concentrate and hold an object
Read a good fiction book, get lost in the positive imagination

Learn to meditate
Get on a spiritual (inner) path


The longer we spend in these higher-grade feelings, the better our life gets!

When I broke free from my familiar feeling and the associated ‘holding pattern’, I really saw my life began to change: it was as if life began to ‘flow’ again. So, whenever I feel ‘stuck’ or my life just isn’t shifting, I spend some time reconnecting with my body and asking ‘what am I feeling’?  If I feel frustrated, annoyed, irritated, worried or anxious, then I know I have work to do!

Give it a try and see if you can feel what you’re feeling?

With love and lightness.
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