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Why We Keep Tuning Into Negative News (Even When It Just Stokes Our Anxiety)

In today’s 24/7 news cycle, it feels like we’re constantly surrounded by breaking headlines, push notifications, and alarming updates.  While many of us turn to news sources to stay informed, there’s a more complex, often subconscious reason why we keep tuning in: at some level, it makes us feel better about ourselves.  Seeing the struggles, conflicts, and catastrophes happening around the world can trigger a quiet sense of relief that

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Understanding Mental Resilience and the hopeless/Despair Trauma Cycle

Mental resilience is our ability to adapt, recover, and rise above hardship. Resilient people aren’t immune to feelings of failure, pain, or hopelessness. Instead, they’re able to process these emotions constructively, ultimately finding a way forward. However, when we encounter a major setback, our brains often respond defensively by triggering a “fight or flight” reaction. This automatic response can be particularly intense for those carrying subconscious trauma, creating feelings of

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Thoughtlessness, Selfishness, and Narcissism: What They Are, How They Differ, and Why It Matters in Relationships

The term “Narcissist” is often spoken about these days, especially in relationships.  I thought it would be helpful to distinguish between what might be considered “thoughtlessness”, “selfishness” and “narcissistic” behaviour. In our closest relationships, understanding the personality traits and motivations of others can mean the difference between growing together or growing apart. When dealing with challenging behaviours – whether it’s a friend who forgets plans, a partner who always puts

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The Ego’s Dilemma: What If It Wasn’t All About Me?

We’re aware that the ego is the “small self” and I was thinking what the ego might say if we were to question it.  And this is what I got! Hello, I’m your Ego. You might not know me by name, but we’ve been close for as long as you’ve existed. I’m the voice in your head that whispers sweet affirmations of your importance, your value, your superiority – or

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Why Do Some Of Us Prefer To Moan, Blame and Complain Instead of Taking Action?

Understanding Subconscious Trauma.  We’ve all been there. Faced with a situation we don’t like – whether it’s a dead-end job, a strained relationship, or unhealthy habits – we often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of moaning, complaining and inactivity. Instead of making changes, we sit and stew, vent to friends, cogitate and replay the same irritations and frustrations over and over in our minds. But here’s the million-dollar question:

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Guilt – The Debilitating Weight We Carry: How It Drains Us and How to Break Free

We’ve all felt it at some point – the heavy, gnawing feeling of guilt that just won’t let go. It’s the “I’ve done something wrong”, “it’s my fault”, “I responsible” pang of guilt! It’s more than just an uncomfortable feeling; guilt actively drains our energy, and undermines our very sense of being, making us feel weighed down and stuck in a loop of self-blame. It can be paralysing, leaving us

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What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Available?

In a world where everyone is eager to be heard, emotionally available people are a rare and valuable gift. They are the ones who don’t rush to fill the silence with their own stories, who don’t see conversations as competitions or opportunities to prove themselves. Instead, they practice the profound art of holding space. But what does it really mean to be emotionally available, and how does holding space for

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Do Boarding Schools Lead to Emotional Disconnection, Unfulfillment, and Regret?

I went to a boarding school and over the years I have worked with numerous clients that did the same – there seems to be a common theme emerging. Boarding schools have long been romanticised as institutions that offer exceptional education, discipline, and character development. The promise of structured growth, lifelong friendships, and academic excellence can be appealing to both parents and students alike. However, beneath the allure, there’s a

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If The Honeymoon Period of Remote Work is Over: What’s Next?

I’m told that the honeymoon period of remote working has officially come to an end. What began as a necessary and exciting shift during the global pandemic has turned into a more complex reality.  While the early days of working from home brought flexibility, freedom, and the promise of a better work-life balance, many are now struggling to find the same level of productivity, connection, and creativity. Companies once eager

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A man and woman sitting on a couch with crossed arms, showing expressions of discontent, facing away from each other, indicative of relationship tension.

The Cost of Emotional Disconnection: The Problem of Numbing Out in Relationships

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of emotional disconnection, especially in intimate relationships.  Life’s demands – work, children, financial stress – often lead us to “numb out” as a way of coping.  For many men, this emotional disengagement becomes an unconscious habit, a way to shield themselves from vulnerability and the complexities of relationship dynamics. But the cost of emotional disconnection is high.  It impacts

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Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk: The Habit We Don’t Realise We Have

We’ve all experienced it: that critical inner voice that comments on everything from our appearance to our abilities.  It tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or successful enough. For many, this voice becomes so familiar it seems like a natural part of who we are. But what if I told you that this voice is not only a learned habit but also one that we can change? In

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A man and woman appear troubled, seated apart on a couch, each engrossed in thought.

The Silent Weight of Trauma: Why We Bury the Past and How It Defines Our Experience

Trauma (and resultant unprocessed feelings) is a deeply personal and often painful experience that leaves lasting scars on our psyche. While some people bravely confront their trauma and work towards healing, many choose a different path – they bury it. They push it down, cover it up, and pretend it never happened.  But no matter how deep we try to bury the pain, the legacy of the past has a

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