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I wanted to share a thought that’s been on my mind: what happens when we stop appreciating the people in our lives? How does it feel for us when we feel unappreciated and taken for granted? I think we all know that it can feel disheartening, leading to dissatisfaction and resentment!
For me, this practice has been a game-changer. If we genuinely want to get the best out of our relationships (professional or personal), we need to start by cultivating appreciation. Without nurturing our relationships, they inevitably wither. Let me give you an example: my wife and I share household tasks, and I usually handle the weekly cleaning. I have no problem doing it, in fact I quite enjoy it, but there’s a huge difference between feeling appreciated and being taken for granted. A simple “thank you for doing that” makes the world of difference and creates connection. It’s fair to say that none of us mind doing the tasks, but it’s not okay to be taken for granted.
This simple, invaluable daily practice—what I call a “daily act of appreciation”—can transform our relationships, but it’s not about grand gestures, it’s about honest, heartfelt validation.
Sometimes is helpful to remember that no-one is obligated to stay in a relationship; it’s a choice we make and that choice is fuelled by appreciation, which is far more than just “loving” someone in a passive way. It’s an active process of being “in love” with someone.
I’ve certainly lived in a loveless, abusive relationship and there’s nothing more degrading, isolating and soul-destroying. I can certainly say that being in a respectful, loving, nurturing relationship feels completely different – but without “vitamin A” (Appreciation), all relationships would eventually wither.
In my work, I hear it all the time: being unappreciated makes people feel invisible and uncared for, like “why am I here, what’s the point?”. So, remember: none of us are perfect, we all have flaws, and that’s why appreciation is so crucial. When we can accept our own imperfections and humanness, we can genuinely start appreciating why someone is with us, we can appreciate our partner for who they are, for all the little things they do, and for putting up with our quirkiness. When we express that genuinely, it softens our heart and deepens our connection – we create intimacy through vulnerability. But remember, it has to be sincere—our partner can easily sense when it’s just empty words.
Appreciation isn’t just about relationships at home; it’s also the most powerful motivator in the workplace. I’ve seen it first-hand in my companies and through my studies. We all need to feel appreciated because it’s a fundamental part of love.
So, I encourage you to give this a try: don’t just say “thank you” randomly, be specific and heartfelt. If you’re not getting the appreciation you need, start by modelling it, and, if you’re still feeling unappreciated, it’s not just okay, it’s vital to have that conversation.
Let’s not become complacent or an enabler in our relationships: they are the greatest investment we can make, and they require our active input to keep them positive and healthy. We all deserve to be nurtured, nourished, respected, valued, appreciated and loved in relationships, but it starts from within. So let’s begin the process by treating ourselves in the same way that we would expect to be treated by others.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this and for sharing this amazing journey. I hope that I can inspire you to keep evolving and developing in this quest of life-long learning. If I can do it, so can you!
Sending you love and light.
Warmest regards
