Grief is one of life’s most profound yet universal experiences. It sneaks into our lives after loss, change, or trauma, and often feels like an unwelcome visitor overstaying its welcome. For many, grief is misunderstood as a problem to be solved, avoided, or outrun. But as we know, when life appears to stop, grief seems to catch up with us. It’s the part that needs to be healed before we can authentically move on and truly be healed.
Here we explore grief, why we often resist it, the importance of facing it, and how Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can offer an effective way to process it, so it no longer defines us.
What is Grief?
Grief is the emotional response to loss. While it is most commonly associated with the death of a loved one, grief can emerge after any significant life change – divorce, the loss of a job, a life-altering diagnosis, or even the intangible loss of a dream.
At its core, grief is not just sadness. It encompasses a range of emotions, including anger, guilt, confusion, overwhelm and even numbness. Grief is deeply personal; no two people experience it in the same way.
The Stages of Grief
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously outlined the five stages of grief, offering a framework to understand its progression:
- Denial – A protective mechanism, denial shields us from the immediate shock of loss.
- Anger – As the reality of the loss sets in, frustration and anger often surface, sometimes misdirected at others or even ourselves.
- Bargaining – We seek to regain control through “what if” or “if only” scenarios.
- Depression – A natural period of profound sadness, reflecting the depth of the loss.
- Acceptance – The stage where we learn to live with the loss, integrating it into our life’s narrative.
It’s important to note that these stages are not linear. Grief can cycle back on itself, catching us off guard at moments we least expect.
Why Do We Try to Outrun Grief?
In our fast-paced, productivity-obsessed world, grief is often seen as an inconvenience. We may:
- Avoid our feelings by burying ourselves in work or distractions.
- Mask our pain with substances, social media, or even “toxic positivity.”
- Fear vulnerability, worrying that expressing our grief makes us appear weak.
Yet, avoiding grief only delays its inevitability. Left unprocessed, grief can manifest as physical illness, anxiety, depression, or feelings of being perpetually “stuck.”
When we stop ‘doing’ or we’re faced with one of life’s ‘stoppers’, grief may catch up with us, force us to pause and sit with our pain, and confront the uncomfortable truths it reveals. This pause, while challenging and difficult, is essential for true healing.
When Grief Raises Its Ugly Head
Life has a way of lulling us into a false sense of control. Just when we think we’ve got a handle on things – our routines settled, our emotions in check – grief has a way of sneaking back in, discombobulating and blindsiding us with its sharp edges.
Grief often lies dormant, especially when we’ve been busy patching up the cracks with distractions or convincing ourselves that we’ve “moved on.” But grief is patient. It waits for stillness, for the quieter moments when life slows down, just enough for us to notice the weight we’ve been carrying.
Suddenly, something seemingly small – a song, a scent, a random memory – pulls us back into the depths of loss. In that moment, it feels as though all the progress we’ve made unravels, leaving us face-to-face with the raw pain we thought was behind us.
This is the nature of grief: cyclical, relentless, and deeply human. It doesn’t follow a timetable, nor does it respect our plans. But this resurgence isn’t a failure on our part. It’s a reminder that grief is not something to “get over”; it’s something to work through, over and over, as we grow and heal.
Facing grief when it raises its ugly head is an act of courage. It’s an opportunity to acknowledge what still hurts, to release the emotions we’ve been holding onto, and to move closer to authentic healing. It’s in these moments of confrontation – not avoidance – that we find the strength to keep moving forward, step by step.
The Importance of Working with Grief
Healing requires more than time – it requires intention. Grief holds lessons about love, loss, resilience, and our relationship with ourselves. Working through grief allows us to:
- Release trapped emotions that weigh us down.
- Reconnect with our authentic selves, free from the pain of the past.
- Move forward, not by forgetting the loss, but by integrating it into a new, richer perspective on life.
Authentic healing comes when we stop running from grief and start working with it.
RTT: A Transformational Approach to Grief
Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is a powerful tool to help individuals process and resolve grief. Combining elements of hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and psychotherapy, RTT dives deep into the subconscious mind, uncovering and reframing limiting beliefs that may keep us stuck in grief.
How RTT Helps with Grief
- Identifies Root Causes: Grief is rarely just about the loss itself. RTT helps uncover deeper, unresolved emotions – such as guilt, abandonment, or worthlessness – that compound the pain.
- Releases Emotional Blocks: Through hypnosis, RTT guides individuals to access and release trapped emotions stored in the subconscious.
- Reframes the Narrative: RTT empowers individuals to create new, positive associations with their loss, allowing them to remember their loved ones or former selves with peace instead of pain.
- Restores a Sense of Control: By working directly with the subconscious, RTT helps individuals reclaim agency over their emotions and their lives.
The Power of Healing
RTT is not about “getting over” grief; it’s about transforming it. By addressing the root of our pain, RTT enables us to break free from cycles of avoidance and despair, fostering a sense of inner peace and clarity.
Moving Forward
Grief is not a problem to be solved; it is a journey to be honoured. While it may feel overwhelming, it is also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Through modalities like RTT and intentional self-work, we can stop running from grief and start working with it, transforming our pain into a source of strength and wisdom. Only then can we move forward authentically – healed, whole, and ready to embrace life once more.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing, consider exploring RTT as a path to release the grief that no longer serves you. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk the path alone.